asom-broso:

writing-prompt-s:

Your phone rings. The number looks familiar. You pick up to hear your own voice asking you for help.

“i need your help”

“bitch me too the fuck”

then hang up

persephonetic:

bint-nuh:

You know what strength is?
Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry.

not to be dramatic but i would literally rather die

business email glossary

• thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
• thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
• would you be so kind: fucking do it
• best: i have never physically met you
• all best: this conversation is over
• all my best: i wish you would die
• happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
• i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
• i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
• sorry to chase: answer my email
• so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
• i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
• please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
• i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
• i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
• i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
• can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
• per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
• great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
• thanks!: i'm not mad at you
• thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
• thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
• please advise: this might be your fault
• kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
• mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
• can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
• sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
• let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

drakesideheaux:

Class discussions are fun until u find out ur classmates are racists

lizdexia:

concept: a really nice Italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that

honeybruh:

my parents: be ready at 7am!
me at 7:20am, completely dressed and watching them go by in their pajamas:

spookycombustion:

tru-ho:

writing-prompt-s:

You are the owner of a magic backpack; every morning you stick your hand in and it contains exactly what you need for the day. One morning it contains a gun.

but isnt this the plot of Dora the Explorer

Swiper ain’t swiping no more